I thought my first ever post should be something I feel passionate about, and that’s being a Mommy. But what does mean? To me, right now in 2019? The role of the Mother has changed ALOT over the years, but is it true that we can really ‘have it all’ ??? And how do we cope with the dreaded ‘mom guilt’ that creeps in all the time – only ever born out of overwhelming love for our tiny humans, the ones we created, grew and brought into this world.
There is so much pressure to be the ‘all singing all dancing perfect Mommy’ the one who gets it right or appears to do so all the time, making the rest of us feel like failures -something which I have struggled with in the past and still work on today. No day is perfect and no day is the same, we all go through the same ups and downs – like just when you think I’ve got this… now time for a hot drink, both boys happily playing…then bam! The baby is being sick and crying and his brother needs you to help build Lego and build it right now!! I now believe that through talking and sharing our experiences we understand that we are most definitely not alone.
After having my first baby I felt lost in the haze of having this small human completely dependent on us and an overwhelming feeling of ‘I should know what to do’.. Because ‘I’m his mommy.’ This led me to wanting to rush every milestone and worry about the most trivial of things, second time around I’m learning to be more relaxed enjoy the good bits and worry less about the harder bits. Again this time is different I’m older, hopefully wiser when it comes to this parenting and adulting stuff and know that yes night feeds are exhausting, refusal of milk is stressful and finding routines that fit are hard. But night feeds won’t be forever and neither will milk drinking and routines are only temporary. Let’s face it as soon as you think you’ve cracked it they go and change it all up any ways. What I’m trying to say without being cliche is the early days/baby days don’t and won’t last forever and if you blink you’ll miss something. So instead I’m learning to not beat myself up about it all, because we’re all doing alright.
So to go back to my original point, being a Mommy to me right now in 2019 means, caring less about what ‘should’ be happening and learning to live in the moment more because everything will fall into place if you let it. Of course there will be times when I feel like caring ALOT and things ‘falling into place couldn’t seem further from reality’ but they will most likely be the small adventures that make up this bigger world…