A letter to my first born…

To my baby boy,

(A title you will always and forever hold in my heart -my baby boy.)

Each time your bedtime story closes, at the end of everyday, on the day’s that have been long and hard or on those days that seem to be over more quickly than they began, I look at you and wonder how you got so big and so grown up.

Four small years you have been on this earth and you have already taught me and your Daddy so much. What it is to love someone so much it hurts, how everyday is an adventure and how happiness can be found in the smallest of things and how you can survive on 4hours sleep! I now of course have a new found respect for all other parents out there and how they too, are functioning on so little sleep… However the lack of sleep is of course, worth the hours spent with you and having the privilege of watching you learn, grow and develop your own personality. Your thirst for knowledge amazes me, the way you ask us questions about your world and your curiosity about everyday things.

You were our first, the reason we understand what true love is. From the moment you took your first breath all our lives changed forever. You may have been brand new but we were also brand new parents and of course completely ‘winging it’ as most first time parents do. So for that I am sorry, you were our ‘test run’, for so many things sometimes the things we tried worked but often didn’t at first, but as we got to know you, your likes and dislikes became easier to ‘guess’. Either that or you got to an age when you told us what those likes and dislikes were (something you are still very good at today)

But over the last 6 months, since you have been promoted to ‘big brother’ you have continued to amaze me and make us so proud. You have embraced this new found life we now all have, sometimes better than me. The way you look at your baby brother and the way he smiles back at you melts my heart. All my worries of you being overwhelmed and not knowing where you now fit in our little family of four, should not have been worries at all, you know exactly. Now I’m not going to pretend that there haven’t been times in the past six months where you have demanded my attention as a four year old does or had to ‘wait a moment’ (impatiently of course, because that’s also what four year olds do) when your brothers cries were more pressing than building Lego in that particular moment. But that is all normal and a natural part of being a big brother. You are a fantastic role model to your brother and now you will, forever have a best friend.

Now you’ve grown so fast and learnt so much already, I can’t wait to see what adventures the next four years will bring. You have taught me what it is to be a mother and put others before myself, so thank you son, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Love now and always,

Your Mommy XxXxX

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